After The Dark Angel
by Phantomdeath
Summary: Sequel to The Dark Angel. Occurs during what should be Harry's last year of Auror training. On a visit to Hogwarts, Harry receives information from Severus about more Dark forces rising. And then there's the matter of Harry's newest crush... Warnings: Slash, cutting... (Essentially the same warnings that were on "The Dark Angel" just with the addition of slash)
1. Chapter 1: Some Things Never Change

Chapter 1: Some Things Never Change

Harry took a deep breath and prepared to apparate. He arrived just outside of Hogwarts grounds a few minutes later. Normally, he would have used floo powder but this was more of a surprise visit. He pushed open one of the front doors and walked into the quiet castle. _Classes in session, _Harry assumed, as he walked down to the dungeons. He stopped in the doorway of the potions room where Severus was giving a lecture. Harry walked in, smirking. Snape stopped his lecture mid-sentence and crossed the room to meet him in the aisle. The students stared in awe as their potions master, hugged the younger wizard before him with a smile plastered on his face. "Professor," Harry whispered in Sev's ear as they hugged, "you're smiling… and hugging." Snape laughed just loudly enough for Harry to hear and backed away.

"A pleasure to see you, Mr. Potter."

"And you. Have you the potions I requested?"

"Indeed," Severus said, as he stalked to his personal supply and grabbed a handful of random vials.

"What year are they?" Harry asked as Snape put the vials in a velvet lined box.

"First. And bloody idiots."

"Oh Professor, so redundant," he replied, smirking.

"Five points from Gryffindor," Severus sneered.

"I regret to inform you it doesn't work like that anymore," Harry said snarkily. The students continued to watch in awe as Snape smiled _again_ and hand Harry the box.

"You sound more like me each time I see you." Severus remarked.

"Terrifying, isn't it?" He said as he disappeared through the door. As he walked through the empty hall, he opened the case Snape had given him and laughed. Inside were all potions Snape had graded, and clearly no one knew what they were doing. He pocketed the box, making a mental note to return the vials to Severus later.

Harry made his way to McGonagall's classroom. She was teaching seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins. He slipped in and took a seat in the back of the room while she had her back turned. Her stern stare softened as her eyes fell upon him. "Harry," she said, walking closer.

"Professor," He smirked. Harry rarely visited anyone but Severus when he came back to Hogwarts.

"How have you been?" She asked with concern.

"It's only been five months since you last saw me," he stated.

"And you are not to worry me like that again, Mr. Potter!" She snapped, only a hint of humor in her voice.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied sarcastically, smirking. She was stunned at how much he reminded her of Severus.

"Potter, you've become so much like him," she said cryptically.

"Have I? I hadn't noticed," Harry said smiling, he loved it when people said he reminded them of Severus. But, of course, they also included that he was a kinder version of Snape. Harry didn't believe that to be true, he reasoned that they just didn't know the Severus he knew and therefore couldn't make an accurate comparison.

Minerva laughed as she hugged him. "I've missed you. Visit more frequently," she ordered.

"As you wish," He whispered almost sarcastically as he left the room.

Harry walked down the halls idly as he awaited for Snape's lessons to end. He was anxious to speak with him about his training and that he had gotten an internship with Moody. When Harry made it down to Sev's library, he took a seat in his favourite leather chair and sighed. _It's been a while since I've really gotten a chance to relax, _he thought bitterly. _Training has been rough, but that's never stopped me. _His thoughts continued to swirl around as he waited for Severus. Finally, he came in through the portrait.

"Sev!" Harry exclaimed gleefully, getting up to hug him again.

"Harry!" Severus said tiredly, as though he was trying to muster as much excitement as he could.

"Long day?" He asked, looping his arms around him. Snape nodded, leaning heavily into the hug. "Want to talk about it?" Harry inquired with concern. Severus made his way to a chair across from the one Harry has previously vacated. He sat with a sigh and gestured for Harry to sit as well. He did.

"First years are giving me an absolute headache. Same old, same old," he said softly.

"I see, how are things going with the whole Voldemort-is-gone-now-and-the-Death-Eaters-have-nothing-to-do thing?" Snape's face darkened.

"There isn't exactly nothing to do." Fear slithered its way into Harry's chest.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, one of them is trying to be the next Dark Lord," he hissed, a new fire in his eyes.

"HOW?!" Harry yelled, losing his composure.

"He told someone, one of the Death Eaters, about how to create a Horcrux. I believe he is using the lessons the Dark Lord gave him, or if he isn't, he soon will be." Harry sagged in his chair as Severus pressed on. "I don't know who it is, but I know that it's a male. Draco still hasn't mastered Occlumency," he said, answering Harry's quizzical look.

"What is he after?"

"Power," Severus answered. Harry muttered under his breath. "I didn't catch that."

"I never get a break," Harry said more clearly.

"Clearly," he replied slowly.

Harry's mind was racing. _If we can catch him before he starts getting too much power, it will be less of a risk… First we need to figure out who "he" is. Damn Draco for any mastering of Occlumency he's got…_

"…dinner, hungry?" He caught the end of Severus's question.

"Um, sorry, I didn't hear you."

"I haven't had dinner, hungry?" He repeated.

"Sure, steak?" Harry asked hopefully, setting his fears aside in hope of getting some Hogwarts-style dinner.

"Of course."


	2. Chapter 2: Late Night Chat

Chapter 2: Late Night Chat

Harry woke in the middle of the night, his breathing, uneven and heavy, his heart pounding. He groaned as he rolled over and realized he was drenched in sweat. "Just a nightmare, just a nightmare," he repeated to himself in the dark. He stared up in the dark room, torn between wanting sleep and not wanting to be sucked back into the nightmare.

_Vernon was leaning over him, whipping him repeatedly with a studded belt. He laughed as Harry tried to not shriek in pain. The metal studs sliced jagged lines in his flesh with each connection. "Not a sound, boy!" Vernon said smiling at Harry's discomfort. As the belt came down more times than Harry could count, he slowly stopped feeling it. The smell of burning flesh filled his nose and he gagged. Spinning around, he saw that Vernon was covered in flames. "QUIT IT BOY! PUT IT OUT!" He screamed._

_When Harry spoke, the voice was not his own, but the one belonging to Voldemort, "Bow to me."_

"_Put out the bloody fire, boy!"_

"_BOW!" Harry commanded with the eerie voice. As he spoke, his uncle morphed into Snape, calling for him to stop. "Severusssss," he hissed._

"_Harry, please, make it stop. PLEASE," Snape cried. Harry tried to make it stop but he felt something overpowering him, as though his own body wouldn't do his will. _

"_I'M SORRY!" Harry screamed with his own voice, then it shifted, "Crucio—" _

He shivered as he thought through his nightmare again and again, trying to find some sort of meaning. Finally he gave up on sleep and walked to the bathroom. He hopped in the shower and tried to relax, letting the water run across his skin. It was calming, but his mind continued to race. After he dried off, her trudged into the library. Sighing, he grabbed a quill, ink, and parchment. Harry started making a list of the Death Eaters he knew that could be attempting the feat of being the next Dark Lord. He hadn't gotten far when a voice startled him. "What are you doing up?" Severus inquired with concern.

"I… er, nightmare," he fumbled. Snape nodded and dropped into the chair beside him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Vernon was… um… yeah. Anyway, I set him on fire and then he morphed into you and I had Voldemort's voice," Harry cut the summary short. Severus nodded.

"Are you alright?"

"I'll be fine. I showered, it helped a little," Harry said softly.

"Do you have them a lot? The nightmares."

"Yes. But can we not focus on that now?" He asked pleadingly. Snape reluctantly gave a single nod.

"What's that?" He asked, curiosity heavy in his voice as he noticed the parchment Harry was twisting between his fingers.

"A list of who could possibly be trying to be the next Dark Lord," he replied flatly. As he spoke, Severus snatched the list.

"Both the Malfoys?" He asked, eyebrows raised. Harry nodded. "I suppose you have a point. Draco wants to make his father proud and Lucius…" he shook his head. Harry shot him a quizzical look but Snape dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "I'll figure out who it is soon enough."

"I thought they all hated you?"

"Most do, but some aren't as loyal as they say. Better offers sway them."

"Such as?" Harry pressed.

"It isn't important, Severus said nonchalantly. Snape's lack of explanation was really starting to irritate Harry.

"Do you have a plan, you know, when you do figure it out?" He asked angrily. Severus's shoulders sagged.

"No," he said softly. "I don't." Harry studied his old potions master closely, looking for any signs of a lie. When he found none, he still continued to study. He saw the lines of age, the way his eyes had lost their old spark and fire. It saddened him, Severus had always appeared strong. _Well usually, _he thought.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect bad news so quickly," he said gently. Severus nodded his forgiveness. Harry searched for something else to talk about. "I have an offer for an internship," he said cheerfully. Snape looked up with renewed interest.

"Where? With whom?"

"Moody, I'd get to shadow him next semester and a year after that doing field work," the elation was practically radiating from Harry and Snape did his best to hide his worry and sadness. He wanted Harry to be happy. But he also wanted him safe. Harry noticed the flash of worry on Sev's face and quickly said, "But don't worry, there's not much going on with Volde…." He trailed off realizing that there would be more going on once this new Death Eater rose to power. "Oh," he said breathlessly.

"I'm happy for you, Harry. Just please be careful," Severus said.

"I will. I haven't taken it yet though."

"You could take a few years off—"

"No, I can't. I'm lucky I got in to begin with," Harry countered.

"Alright," Severus said, realizing he didn't want to fight about this now. _There will be a time for this conversation. It's not now._

Harry smirked, "Don't get all worried about me. I'll think you've gone soft." He was trying hard to ease the tension. Severus chuckled.

"Seeing as we've chatted away the remainder of the night, care for an early breakfast?" Harry nodded, relaxed again.

**A/N: I didn't think it would start with this much conflict, but don't worry. They won't fight too long! **


	3. Chapter 3: Alex

Chapter 3: Alex

After breakfast, Harry relaxed in Snape's chambers while he taught his lessons. He skimmed a few of the healing books on the shelves and sketched a few owls on stray scraps of parchment. Around lunch time, Harry got bored and set off through the castle, heading for the dining hall. On his way, he smacked into a student. "Sorry," he mumbled and bent to pick up her books.

"It's okay, thanks," she whispered as she took the books from him.

"You're welcome," he said standing. The girl, a blonde with a thin frame and blue eyes, stepped back.

"Oh Merlin…. You're him… You're Harry Potter," she said breathlessly.

"I am, and you are…?" She blushed, realizing she hadn't introduced herself.

"Oh, um… I'm Alex… just Alex." She looked nervously at the ground as Harry smirked and studied her. Her skin was excruciatingly pale against the black of her robes. The tie around her neck marked her as a Slytherin. _She must be the shiest Slytherin in history,_ he thought as she avoided eye contact, _or a first year… no, she can't be a first year…_

"Well, just Alex, I assume you're either going to lunch or you're extremely late to a class."

"Lunch… I'm going to lunch…" Alex said softly.

"May I accompany you?" She looked up, shock and confusion crossed her face.

"Sure!" She said, almost too quickly. Harry followed her to the Slytherin table. He ignored the glares he received from those who belonged to Death Eater families. Alex took a seat at the far end of the table and gestured for him to sit across from her. He did and scooped a bit of food onto his plate. She took a little salad and not much else. Nibbling on it she timidly asked, "So why are you back at Hogwarts, didn't you graduate or whatever?"

"Yeah, I did, but I still visit," he replied nonchalantly. She nodded and continued to pick at her food. Harry glanced across the table and found Alex staring at him. "What?" he asked cautiously, unsure if she spoke and he didn't hear her.

"Nothing, sorry," she looked back down at her plate and poked at a tomato. _Odd,_ Harry thought as he studied her, _does she enjoy silent meals or am I just making this awkward. _

"What's your next class?"

"Potions," Alex said glumly.

"I used to hate potions." She looked up in surprise.

"But I saw you with Snape earlier and he looked happy to see you."

"I got better. And, simply because you hate a subject, doesn't mean you have to hate your professor," Harry said with a smirk. She smiled back. He glanced up at the professor's table and noticed Severus staring straight at him. _Shit, he looks angry. _"Alex, I'd better go… Sorry," he said apologetically. The smile from before, remained.

"It's alright, Harry, I don't mind," Alex said sweetly. He smirked and slipped her a piece of parchment before he fled the hall.

He returned to Snape's chambers and fell asleep on the leather couch. A cool voice woke him. "Why, dare I ask, did you find it a good idea to sit at the Slytherin table?" Harry sat up and found himself inches from a death glare.

"I…um… well… I just wanted some food and Alex had dropped her books… She was okay with me sitting by her—"

"For the remainder of your visit you will either sit with me at the professors' table, or you will remain here," he hissed, gesturing to the kitchen.

"Sorry, sir," Harry said softly.

"It's alright. I just worry about you. Those students have parents who still want to kill you. Parents who wouldn't mind if their kids were expelled for killing you," he said seriously. Harry nodded and leaned back into the leather.

"So aside from lunch, how was your day?"

"It was alright. Nothing incredibly exciting to report. My apologies," he said snarkily. Harry relaxed more since Severus seemed to be acting like his old self.

"Well, at least no one exploded anything, right?"

"Indeed. So, Harry, how long will you be gracing me with your presence this time?"

"Training begins again on Tuesday."

"I presume you'll depart Monday then?"

"Yeah, probably. Seeing as today is Friday, my visit will end soon." Snape nodded and stood.

"Care for some tea?"

"Sure. Have you any leads on the—"

"No, I shall inform you when I know something," Sev said calmly, though there was a note of finality.

"Okay. So what do you know about Alex?" Harry asked quietly.

"Alex who?"

"Dunno, blonde, blue eyes, thin, kind of… shy?"

"Hmmm, ah, yes. Miss. Lestrange." Harry's breath caught…. His mind started racing. _She doesn't look anything like Bellatrix, I mean she could have used a glamour though. Merlin knows I use them. _

"Any relation to Bellatrix?!" He blurted.

"I don't believe so, Harry. Relax. But to answer your previous question, she's in Slytherin, which you've obviously gathered. Her talents do not lie in potions, at all. I believe she is a seventh year, if I'm not mistaken. Why the sudden interest in my student?" Severus asked, suddenly aware of Harry's unwavering attention.

"Nothing. Just wondering why a Slytherin would care about me at all."

"I'm not sure why she ended up in Slytherin, honestly. She doesn't behave like them. As her Head of House, I've never once needed to scold her. I haven't seen much of her since the sorting. She hardly comes to meals, but she is usually in class." Harry listened attentively but tried to appear as though he wasn't.

"That's odd, why wouldn't she eat much?"

"Perhaps she's watching her figure, though I do say she is dangerously thin as is."

"Look out, Professor, you sound like you care about _another_ student. Don't go soft on me," Harry joked.

"Shut up, Potter!" Severus said as he set a cup before Harry. Before he turned around to grab his own cup, he playfully clapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey!" Harry said, attempting to stifle a laugh. Sev laughed as he took his own seat across from him.

"Harry," he said seriously. The smile faded from Harry's face when he heard Snape's tone.

"Yes?"

"I know that I have no business telling you what you should do, but, there is something I would like to say."

"Alright, let's hear it."

Severus took a deep breath before he spoke. "I know how badly you want to be an Auror, and I admire that about you. You're strong, dedicated, and you're incredibly determined. But Harry, the wizarding world is taking a turn for the worst again. Are you sure you want to put yourself through that?" Harry listened quietly while his old professor spoke. "I just worry about you. I don't want to see you hurt again."

"I know you're worried, Sev. I am too. But the world changing into a more dangerous place is more of a reason for me to go back and receive the training I need to make it safe again," he replied softly.

"I won't bother you about it again. I simply wanted you to know my stand." Harry nodded and the conversation shifted to more comfortable topics. After a few more hours of chatting, Severus and Harry bid each other goodnight and retired to their rooms.

Harry fell into the familiar bed and his eyelids fluttered shut, but he didn't fall asleep. Instead, he lay awake, truly pondering, for the first time, if he was making the right decision about being an Auror.


	4. Chapter 4: Always Something

Chapter 4: Always Something

Harry woke to the smell of bacon. He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. _What time is it? 6:57, really Sev._ He groaned,_ it's so early. But that bacon…_ He threw off his covers and pulled on sweatpants before heading into the kitchen. "Morning Sev," Harry said, his voice deep and scratchy from sleep.

"Morning," Severus said in a tone that sounded far more awake. "Ready for some breakfast?" Harry nodded as Snape scooped eggs and bacon onto his plate. He served himself before sitting across from him.

"What are the plans for today?"

"It's entirely up to you."

"Hang on," Harry said springing up from the table. He hastened to his room and came back with the box Severus had given him upon his arrival. "Here," he said holding it out to Sev.

"What…?" He opened the box and laughed. "I've been looking for these!" He exclaimed as he took out one of the vials.

Harry laughed as he asked, "What was that supposed to be?" He gestured to the vial Snape was holding. It had a red "F" scrawled across the glass.

"Invigorating Draught… It's not even the proper colour!" He remarked though laughter.

"I still can't believe you gave me random potions that FIRST YEARS brewed!"

"How did you know they were first years?!"

"Come on, this particular student messed up an Invigorating Draught. They're either a first year, or me," Harry replied smirking. Severus laughed.

"I should give you more credit, Potter. Five points to Gryffindor."

Harry's eyebrows shot up. "Five!? A whole FIVE?! I never—" his own fit of laughter cut him off. Snape tried to stifle a laugh and ended up snorting, causing Harry to laugh harder. Once the two had calmed down enough to speak again, Harry spoke. "I'm free until five today."

"And what might the famous Harry Potter be doing at five?"

"Err,"_ Shit, I never considered he'd ask me about this… lie! Lying works…_ "I'm having dinner with Professor McGonagall."

"Ah, enjoy!" Harry felt instantly guilty but smiled in response. "Tell me, how is your owl? I haven't seen much of her as of late."

"Actually, she's… caring for her egg." Shock momentarily crossed Snape's face.

"Lovely. You purchased a mate?"

"Err, not really, I just walked in to check on her the other day and there was another owl with her."

"Mhm, was it another Snowy Owl?"

"No, this one was black… It was odd, I thought I saw it somewhere before, but I couldn't be certain."

"Would you like to go to Diagon Alley?" He inquired, changing the topic all together. _Shit, shit, shit… it could have been MY owl. Dammit Erik. _

"Sure?" Harry replied, slightly confused by the sudden change in conversation.

"Alright, we leave at ten." A glance at the clock told Harry he only had half an hour to get ready. He sprinted back to his room and changed.

They spent the day going to shops and chatting idly about how their lives were going. Harry was pleased to have time to relax and to purchase a few things that he would need for the evening. "Sev?" Harry asked, drawing both of them from their thoughts.

"Yes, Harry?"

"What did you do with that snake necklace I gave you?"

"This one?" He asked as he reached down and pulled the charm out from under his robes. The snake winked at Harry from its place on the chain around Snape's neck. "I've never taken it off since the night you gave it to me. It's saved my life on numerous occasions."

Harry was attempting to not cry. _Damn emotions. _"Did you name it?" He asked in an attempt to not let his tears fall.

"I did. Vita, it means 'life' in Italian," he said softly. "At least I think that's what I read…" he added under his breath. Harry was speechless. He thought Severus has just forgotten about the charmed snake. "You're going to be late!" Snape exclaimed, pulling Harry form his sentimental thoughts.

"Shit, you're right!" Harry started sprinting to a nearby shop, hoping to use the fireplace to Floo back to Hogwarts.

"Harry!" The harshness in his voice stopped Potter in his tracks

"What?"

"Take my arm," he commanded.

"No—!" Harry protested, but Snape looped his arm around Harry's before he could say more.

They appeared at the edge of Hogwarts grounds. Harry collapsed beside Snape. "Potter! What is it?"

"I hate apparating. It makes me sick… MOVE" Severus jumped back just in time.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked as though Harry wasn't violently convulsing and vomiting. "Never mind that, just… here." He offered Harry a vial. _Wow Severus, way to go, attempt to hand the boy a bloody vial while he has no control of himself. _Severus shook his head at his own stupidity and forced the contents of the vial down Harry's throat. Moments later, the convulsing stopped and he relaxed.

"Sorry," he mumbled, ashamed of himself.

"When did that start?"

"… I don't know…"

"Harry," he said sternly.

"Okay, okay! It's been like this since I started training. If I don't take a potion before I go, this happens." Snape nodded.

"I'll be looking in to this," he commented as he helped Harry off the ground. "Scourgify."

Harry looked guiltily up at him, "Thanks… I'm sorry. I did try to warn you though…"

"I know, I'm sorry too. Now hurry!" Harry smiled and ran toward the castle. Severus watched him go. _Always something with Potter, Always. _


	5. Chapter 5: Date

Chapter 5: Date

Harry rushed to an unused wing of the castle and tried to find an unlocked door. When he succeeded, he hastily pushed all the tables, but one, toward the edges of the room and pulled the lone table to the center. He threw a table cloth over it and put some candles in the middle, along with a single rose in a thin glass vase. _This is so cliché, _he thought as he pulled a record out of one of the bags he'd brought with him. He found a phonograph in the corner of the room and put the record on it. _Damn I got lucky with this room. _He finished setting up then checked the time. Harry raced from the room and made it to the courtyard where he told Alex to meet him. She was there when he arrived. "Sorry I'm late," he said, jogging over. "I got a little tied up." She giggled and took his hand.

"What are we doing?"

"Follow me," he said with a smirk and a glint in his eye. She took his outstretched hand and followed him to the room he'd prepared. He covered her eyes with his hands as they entered to keep the element of surprise. Alex's breath caught when she saw the room before her.

"It's beautiful!" She breathed as he led her over to the table. A house-elf appeared with a platter of cheeses and crackers.

"Appetizers," he squeaked before disappearing again.

"Enjoy," Harry said, taking a seat across from her. She smiled broadly and took a cracker. After they nibbled on the crackers and cheese for a while, Harry broke the silence. "Do you like swordfish?" Her eyes lit up as he spoke and she nodded vigorously. "Good, it's almost here." Another house-elf appeared and set a plate of swordfish, potatoes, and salad before each of them. They again ate in silence, not knowing what to say. Harry's eyes never left her, she was beautiful. _The way the candlelight flickers on her cheeks is bringing out the gorgeous blue of her eyes. I want to protect her from everything, always. She's so stunning,_ Harry thought as he tried to come up with something to say to her. He was comfortable in silence but didn't know if she was. Coming up with nothing to say, he remained silent. When they'd finished their dinner, he stood and walked to the phonograph. As he put the needle on the record, he turned around to face her. "Care to dance?" She crossed the room and took his hand.

"It'd be an honour," she said smiling. After a moment of silence, a waltz played. Harry led, and Alex complimented him. "You're a brilliant waltzer!" He laughed and shrugged. "Wait, that's not a word, is it?"

"It is now," he said sweetly, dipping her. She giggled. They continued dancing until the song ended. "Dessert?" Alex nodded again. He twirled her to the table and pulled out the chair for her.

"Thank you," she said softly as she dropped into her seat. Harry took his own seat and watched as Alex scooped some cake onto her fork. It was a decent sized bite and she ended up smearing chocolate icing on her face. She hastily tried to wipe it off with the back of her hand but Harry noticed. Smirking, he asked if she liked it and she nodded shyly. He finished his piece and looked up to see her only a few inches from him. Harry leaned closer and pressed his lips gently to hers. She kissed him back, but only for a moment before pulling away. She blushed at her own confidence, but it was quickly evaporating. He offered her a small smile and Alex returned it.

"Would you allow me to escort you back to your dormitory?" He inquired, standing and offering her his arm.

"I'd like that," she replied, looping her arm through his. "You're such a gentleman," she said giggling. He smiled, unsure of how to reply. He walked her to the dungeons, they were out after hours and miraculously weren't caught. Before she whispered the password, Harry stole a kiss. She leaned into him kissing him back with a fiery passion that surprised him. Alex pushed him against the wall, further intensifying the moment. An animalistic growl emanated form his chest. She nipped at his collarbone, his growl fueling her want.

"We can't do this, not here," he said, his voice gruff. She nodded, understanding what he meant. "There's always tomorrow…" Harry hinted. She smiled.

"You don't want to sound too eager. Maybe on your next visit. But I might be in the library on Monday at noon, if you could spare an hour. It'd be nice to see you again."

"Perhaps, I might find my way there then," he replied with a smirk. Her smile widened as the door allowed her in.

"Until Monday," she whispered, closing the door.

"Until Monday," he agreed just before it clicked shut. He walked away with a smile on his face, his plan was to return to Severus's Chambers and speak with him for a few minutes before heading off to bed. Harry turned to walk down a near-by corridor when he ran into Snape. "Oh, hi Sev!" He said far too cheerfully.

"Potter," he replied. _Shit, I'm in trouble. _"My chambers. Now," he hissed. Harry reluctantly trudged to Snape's library and fell heavily into a leather chair. Sev followed him in and sat in a chair facing his. "You'll never guess into whom I ran while doing my rounds."

"Who?" Harry asked, not making eye-contact.

"Professor McGonagall." _SHIT._

"Oh, um, how is she?" He inquired, knowing full well how guilty he sounded.

"Funny, I figured you would know since you were supposedly dining with her," he said bitterly.

"Right, well, uh, plans y'know, changed and I didn't actually see her…"

"Upon further investigation, I learned that these plans never existed. Why, Harry, are you lying to me?" He asked. Hurt flashed across his face and guilt stabbed Harry in the chest.

"I'm sorry, I was just busy helping Alex with Potions and I didn't know how to tell you because you were so angry that I was with her before." It was killing him to lie to Sev. _I am the scum of the earth, _he thought to himself.

Severus sighed, "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I just worry—"

"I know you do, but I can take care of myself, I'm practically an Auror," Harry countered softly before Snape had the chance to sink more guilt into him.

"Are you alright? You seem a bit stressed," he asked with concern.

"I'm just tired, Sev," Harry said softly.

"Get to bed then, we can't have you too exhausted. The world might need saving," he added with a smirk. Harry laughed and walked over to him, gave him a hug and turned to go to his room.

He opened the top drawer of the dresser and parted some clothes. _He didn't clean it out, everything is still here... Everything. _Harry reached down and his fingers closed around the familiar object. He took a deep breath as all his old memories flooded back. The steel was still cool beneath his hand and his desire to feel it in him woke. _It's been years, you've made it so far! _A small voice in the back of his head exclaimed, he pushed it down as he held the knife in front of him. _I want this,_ he thought. His heart raced, his veins cried for the pleasure of the blade. He was going to grant them their wish. Harry racked the steel down his forearm, a jagged line. _I'm unpracticed. Scum. Worthless. Hopeless. I let Sev down. And Alex, oh Alex… I'm a liar. Who could care about the real me? Who could care about this?! _As he thought, he carved more and more lines into his skin, tears streamed down his cheeks. Harry dropped his glamours and watched as the blood flowed over the old scars. Guilt and regret hit him hard but he didn't stop. Line after line, marring his flesh more and more. Blood splattered on the floor and walls. He decided he would clean it in the morning. Finally, exhaustion won. Harry wrapped his arm in tape and gauze and fell into bed. Sleep sucked him in instantly.


	6. Chapter 6: A Little Comfort

Chapter 6: A Little Comfort

Harry woke to Severus knocking on his door. "'M up. 'M up," he mumbled into his pillow. He noted that he'd stripped to his boxers in his sleep. _I suppose it was hot with all the gauze, _he reasoned with himself.

"Harry come on, you've slept through breakfast. It's 11:30!" Severus called through the door. He moved to push himself out of bed and hissed. His arm burned more than he expected it to after last night. The door flew open to reveal Snape with a death grip on his wand, prepared to see The Dark Lord himself in the room with Harry. He scanned the room for any signs of danger and stopped on the dried blood splatters in the corner of the room. Severus looked at Harry with a pained expression.

"Why didn't you come get me?" He asked weakly, his arms falling to his sides, defeated.

"There was nothing you could have done," Harry whispered softly. "I'm sorry." Severus ran a hand through his hair as he looked at the scene in front of him.

Sighing he turned back to Harry and asked, "may I see them?" Dejected and defeated, Harry dropped his glamours and held up his arms. He looked down to see where the blanket had fallen and found it laying across his hips. Severus stared at the young man before him. "Can you remove the gauze?" He asked softly. Harry did as told and Sev had to stifle a gasp. There was hardly a section of his forearms that wasn't marred and an angry red. His entire ribcage was destroyed with lines following the curvature of his ribs. Severus could see cuts peeking out from under the blanket he was under. "Harry…" he whispered.

"I know. I fucked up. I'm sorry Sev. I'm sorry." Harry knew it was a lame reply but it was the best he had. Severus came over to him, that pained look still contorted his face.

"Harry, please. Not again," he mumbled as he sat beside him. Harry wouldn't look at him, he didn't want to see the pity and anguish written clearly upon the man's usually well-guarded face.

"I won't make a promise I can't keep. Scourgify." The dried blood disappeared.

"Please don't do it," Snape said, extending a hand toward him. Harry leaned into it, falling into Severus. Even though he was relaxed more around Harry than anyone else, he still almost pulled back. The feeling of true human interaction scared him slightly. Harry pressed closer against him, hoping the world would just dissolve if he made himself one with the black robes. "Why don't you just stay here today alright?" Harry nodded, grateful for the sympathy he didn't feel he deserved. "What would you like for lunch?" He asked softly, afraid to spook Harry.

"I don't care," he mumbled into his robes.

"Okay, how 'bout some chicken soup and a half sandwich?"

"Brilliant." When Snape moved to make lunch, Harry's hand shot out and grabbed his robs. "Wait, please don't go… let the house-elves make it or something. I don't have to eat…" He trailed off.

"Okay, I'll stay. Shh, relax," Severus coaxed. Harry leaned heavily into him, crying softly into the black surrounding him. Sev rubbed his back and murmured gentle words of comfort in his ear.

Eventually, Harry fell asleep and Severus just stayed there afraid to disturb the young man. He was hesitant to shift position, but when his leg went numb he did. Harry didn't stir, but Sev stayed anyway.

Around 5 pm. Harry woke. "Sev?" he asked.

"Yes, Harry?"

"You stayed?" He asked, a bit shocked.

"Well I wouldn't just leave you. You were upset," he said simply.

"Oh. Right." After a brief silence Harry spoke again. "Sev?"

"Hm?"

Harry was planning to tell him that he had decided to not go back to training for a while. But he chickened out. He settled for, "I'm glad you're here for me. It means a lot." Even though Harry had said it far more times than Severus could count, it still nearly brought tears to the man's eyes.

"I'll always be here for you. Always," he emphasized when Harry looked as though he didn't believe it. "Come on, we must at least dine with the others." Harry sighed heavily and pushed himself off of Snape, he immediately missed the comfort and warmth he had provided, but shook it from his mind. He put his glamours back up before they left Snape's chambers.

Severus and Harry ate with the other professors. Harry was the most interesting thing at the table since so many of them hadn't seen him in so long. He told them about his training and how he was progressing so well. While it pained Snape to know Harry was leaving him again, his heart swelled with pride for Harry. A sudden thought struck Severus—_convince him to teach here!_ He quickly pushed it from his head. Sev wanted Harry to be happy. "…Severus?" During his short battle with himself, he'd tuned out the conversation. He wasn't sure who said his name either.

"My apologies, I was trying to remember if I'd left a potion brewing too long. What was asked?" He inquired, trying to pay each of the expectant faces equal attention.

At least Minerva spoke, "Severus, we were wondering what you thought of Harry's training."

"Oh, yes. I think it's brilliant that he'll be doing something functional with his life," he replied, nudging Harry with his shoulder. Harry smirked but someone at the student tabled caught his eye. _Alex. _He finished his dinner quickly, promising to see them all again before he left and left dinner. He waited outside for a few minutes before Alex joined him.

"I didn't think you'd stay," she said softly.

"Well, I did," he replied somewhat snarkily.

"Isn't Professor Snape going to be angry with you?"

"No, he thinks I'm teaching you about potions. Which I probably should considering it's going to be hard to cover that lie if I don't. So is out meeting tomorrow still on?" He inquired hopefully.

"Only if you wish it," she said smiling.

"I do," Harry whispered, he saw a shadow that looked vaguely Snape-shaped.

"It's a date," she replied cheerfully.

"It's a date," he confirmed and stalked away.

Harry returned to Snape's chambers before he did. He poured himself some Firewhiskey and collapsed in a chair. He hated lying to Severus, but he knew the relationship couldn't exactly be broadcasted. Harry went to his room to slice a quick line in his arm. Just after stowing his knife, Snape entered the chambers. Harry met him in the library.

"That was quite the quick departure from dinner" he remarked, rather impressed.

"I don't enjoy questions, Sev."

"You've made that extremely clear."

"Sorry. Could you… um… could you sleep with me tonight?" Harry asked innocently. When the look of utter confusion crossed Snape's face, Harry reconsidered his wording. "No, not like…. THAT, just like, lay next to me? For comfort? Please?" He begged.

"Sure. I need to finish a few potions first, but I should be there by ten," Severus replied slowly to the odd request.

"Okay," Harry said softly, incredibly grateful that Sev said yes.


	7. Chapter 7: Staying

Chapter 7: Staying

Harry

_He was on a date with Alex, she'd looked beautiful. Her blonde hair was pulled back but a single curl had escaped the bunch and was nestled against her face. Her eyes sparkled in the low light of the room. He knew that there was something amiss but couldn't put his finger on it. Alex's fingers caressed his cheek and distracted him from his thoughts, he inhaled her scent, a sweet vanilla with a hint of coconut. She pulled him closer to her, their bodies touched and he sighed. Alex pressed her lips to his, sweetly at first, then with a fiery desire. He pressed against her with equal need and passion. Harry closed his eyes for a mere moment and when he opened them, all their clothes were off. He took in the beautiful sight before him. "Alex," he breathed as he studied every inch of her, the sharp line of her jaw bone, the gentle curve of her breasts, down her elegant ribs… She came closer, breaking his concentration. Alex lifted one of his arms and pointed at it with concern. Harry looked down to see his scars and realized he hadn't put his glamours up. Hastily he took his arm back and smiled guiltily. Alex kissed him again, scars forgotten. He wrapped his arms around her, closed his eyes, and sank into the kiss. The atmosphere changed. Harry was COLD. He opened his eyes and saw, not Alex, but a swamp-green, skeletal Dementor. He reached for his wand but it was gone. Somewhere in his mind, he knew Dementors were black but he couldn't register that now. He screamed— "Harry! Wake up, it's just a dream! Wake up!" A far off voice said. He screamed louder. Harry needed to warn this voice that there is a Dementor. "HARRY!" The voice yelled. Laugher. Someone was laughing. But who?—_

The nightmare faded and Harry found himself staring at a distraught Severus. There was a dim light on in the room that just allowed him to make out the tears on his face. _Why is Sev crying?_ "Oh thank merlin," Snape breathed when his eyes opened. He leaned back onto his pillow and studied the man next to him. Harry's face was drenched in sweat, tears were drying on his cheeks, and his hair was in greater disarray than when he was awake—

"Sorry," Harry said, pulling Severus from his thoughts.

"What for?"

"For waking you. It's 2:30. You have to teach tomorrow and—"

"Harry, it doesn't matter. I chose to stay here with you. I knew the consequences," he smirked. Harry sighed. "What happened?" He asked with concern.

"It was a nightmare."

"Obviously."

"Well… I was on a date and the girl suddenly disappeared and… well… there was a Dementor there instead… I thought I was dying. Then there was laughing… I don't know who," he broke off and swallowed hard. The nightmare shook him more than others had in the past. _Why is this one cutting so deeply?_

"That's peculiar," Snape said slowly.

"Yeah," Harry said, he shivered and turned over onto his other side, facing away from Sev. Snape put his hand on Harry's shoulder. He inched back until he could feel Severus's chest against his back and sighed. _Shouldn't this feel weird?_ Harry asked himself. But found he was far too tired to care, and the feeling of security was too good to give up.

Snape woke around six to get ready for work. He cast a silencing charm over Harry's bed to not disturb him while he did his morning chores and prepared himself for the day ahead. As he scribbled a note to Harry, he checked on him. His breathing was even and smooth, his raven hair hung in his face. _He looks so peaceful. _Severus put the note on the kitchen table and left to go to breakfast. He wasn't looking forward to the day – the first class he would be teaching were first years.

Harry woke around ten. He pulled himself reluctantly from the bed and padded to the bathroom. After he had a shower and was ready to walk out the door, he noticed a note on the table.

_Harry,_

_I might not get a chance to see you before you leave, but I want you to know that I'm proud of you no matter what. I want you to be happy. _

_Severus._

_PS. Eat an apple they're going to go bad soon._

Harry laughed as he picked up an apple from the bowl on the counter. He bit into it as he thought about what he was going to do about training. _I can't go back there. Not now. _He sighed, trying to figure out how to tell Sev he was staying. At least for a while. He wrote a letter to Moody.

_I regret to inform you that I will be turning down the offer you have extended. I will not be taking the internship. Unfortunately, some private matters have become a bit more urgent than I expected. _

_My most sincere apologies,_

_Harry Potter_

He sealed the letter and sent it off with a school owl; Hedwig still busy with her new egg and all. Harry checked the time and realized he needed to get to the library to meet Alex. He took off toward the library with stunning speed.

**A/N: Sorry for the late update! Time keeps getting away from me in that way time does. If you noticed, I updated the description adding slash as a warning… Take that as you will. Sit back, and enjoy the ride… **


	8. Chapter 8: Library Love

Chapter 8: Library Love

Harry got to the library and took a moment to catch his breath before he started walking up and down aisles. He found Alex in the History section. "Hey," he whispered softly.

"Hi," she said sweetly and pecked him on the cheek. He blushed and looked at the book in her hands.

"'The Night of False Celebration'? Why would you want to read that?" Harry asked, knowing it was a book about the night Voldemort killed his parents.

"I wanted to know a bit more about you," she said hesitantly.

"Oh, well you can just ask, really," he added when she looked like she was going to protest.

"Okay," Alex said softly after a moment. "What was it like?"

"What was what like?" He asked, a little confused.

"Growing up with all this fame and glory. I mean I assume you are known by a ton of people you don't know and that has to be weird," she rambled for a while before he cut in.

"I actually didn't know I was famous. My aunt and uncle raised me and they were the worst sort of muggles," he said, quoting Minerva.

"Oh, I didn't know. What did they do?" She asked softly. He shook his head in response, not wanting to talk about it. Harry traced her jawline with his index finger.

"You're beautiful, Alex," he whispered. She leaned closer and smiled. "You really are." He pulled her closer and their lips met.

"You're only going to be here one more night…" she hinted quietly. He found he quite liked it when someone else took the lead. Harry smiled suggestively and she pulled him to the floor. His heart pounded as she crawled atop him and kissed his neck. He gasped as her hand found his cock though his pants.

"Isn't someone going to see?" Harry said breathlessly.

"No, I put up wards to warn us if someone's coming," she smirked.

"Oh," was all he could say as she took her robe and shirt off. He cupped her breasts as she straddled him. This wasn't the way Harry had pictured losing his virginity. He started to panic again, but one bite on his collar bone and he was subdued. "Silencing charms?" He asked in a harsh whisper.

"Of course," she whispered as she nipped his ear. He practically purred as she stripped him of his shirt and pants, leaving him in his boxers. Harry fumbled with the hooks of her bra for a minute before she reached up and took it off herself. His cock pushed hard against the fabric of his boxers. She stroked it as he planted kisses all over her body. He put his finger in the waistband of her panties and she winked at him. Harry slipped them off of her and looked up at her innocently.

"I've never done this before—" She put a finger to his lips and kissed him hard. Alex took off his boxers with her teeth, never breaking eye contact with Harry. It was fiercely attractive. "Alex," he whispered her name longingly. She smiled at him and took his cock in her mouth, he gasped. He felt a laugh hum through her throat as she sucked. Harry bucked his hips as he got closer and closer to his climax, but then the mouth was gone. He opened his eyes, _when did I close them!?_ And stared at her for a moment before she angled herself over him. They connected perfectly and she gave him the ride of his life.

By the end, they were both panting on the library floor, their clothes laying forgotten a few feet away. "That was fun," Alex breathed after a few minutes, her head on Harry's chest.

"It was," he agreed after a moment. He was still a bit shocked that Alex took charge.

"What's wrong? Did you not like it?" She asked in a timid voice, back to her shy nature.

"I loved it! It was brilliant," he assured her. She nodded and nestled her head back into his chest. Alex stood quickly and threw his clothes at him.

"Someone's coming!" She practically screamed. He stood and hastily put his clothes on, she was still straightening her robes when McGonagall rounded the corner.

"Miss. Lestrange! Why are you not in class?"

"Oh I was reading this," she said guiltily as she gestured to the forgotten book, "And then Harry came so I just started asking him questions instead because it was easier…" Alex trailed off.

Minerva sighed heavily, "Get to class." Alex nodded and ran off without a second glance at either of them. "Harry," she began, turning to him.

"Hm?" He looked up at her.

"Be careful with Alex, she's… a bit fragile," she said and left before he could respond.

Harry left the library too, mentally going over all the events that just occurred. He almost regretted having sex. _It was too soon. We hardly know each other. I didn't bloody know what to do when she was so confident. _He shook his head at his own stupidity. _She might regret it, hell, I might regret it. She—_ a deep voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"…refrain from speaking to Mr. Potter." Harry pressed against a wall and strained to hear the rest of the conversation.

"I told you, I was just asking him about his life," Alex said softly. "I didn't mean any harm."

"You haven't a clue in the slightest what he's been through!" Snape hissed. Harry wanted to run in and say she didn't do anything wrong but something in his mind told him to wait.

"I-I-I-I'm sorry." It sounded like Alex was crying.

"Go back to your classes," he commanded. She ran past Harry without seeing him and sprinted down the corridor. He walked into the room she'd just vacated.

"Harry," Snape said softly. "There's something we need to discuss."

_Shit._


	9. Chapter 9: A Little Chat

Chapter 9: A Little Chat

"Have a seat," Severus instructed. Harry fell into a chair that faced his desk. "I preformed Legilimens on Miss. Lestrange, just to figure out why she was missing classes. I couldn't understand her through all the sniveling. What I found was very…interesting."

"What did you find, sir?" Harry asked, feeling like a scolded child.

"Libraries, Harry, are for reading. Are they not?"

"They are, sir," he replied, his heart sinking.

"What are bedrooms for, Mr. Potter?"

"Sleeping?" He asked, avoiding the answer Snape wanted. Severus scoffed. "Other things….?"

"Indeed," he snapped. Harry's cheeks reddened as he stared at the floor. "Tell me, what did you think you were doing, Potter?!" She's a student!" He practically screamed and Harry looked around. "Silencing charms are a brilliant invention, aren't they?" Severus was irate, he took a step closer to him. Harry flinched. He stepped back again. "I'm not going to hurt you!" He hissed.

"I'm sorry. You… you saw what bloody happened! She took control! She forced herself on me! What the hell was I supposed to do?!" Harry yelled, trying to cover his fear.

"I don't know—PUSH HER OFF?!"

"I COULDN'T!"

"Are you trying to tell me that you, a wizard who took down one of the most powerful dark wizards of our time, couldn't push a seventh year girl off of you?!"

"It's a little more difficult when someone has their hand around your cock!" He retorted. Snape remained silent and Harry's cheeks burned when he realized what he said.

"I thought you were leaving," he said quietly.

"I turned them down. I wanted to stay with you. Honest," he added when Snape raised an eyebrow. Tears pricked at his eyes. "I'm sorry. I was scared and she seemed so nice and I figured she… I didn't think she would go that far. I regretted it as soon as she was gone. I'm such an idiot!" Before Harry knew what he was doing, he had drug his nails down the inside of his opposite wrist. Bloody gouges followed in their wake. Severus was behind him in seconds, holding his wrists behind his back.

"Relax Harry, relax," he whispered beside Harry's head, his anger momentarily forgotten.

"Shit. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Harry whispered before his body started shaking with sobs.

"It's okay—"

"You're the only person that I let see me like this. The only one. And I don't want to hurt you, I know this hurts you. You hate seeing me like this but you're the only one who gets it. The only fucking one who understands. I'm sorry I fuck up all the time. I'm sorry about Alex, I didn't think it would go so fast. I'm sorry you have to see me with my guard down—no one should have to live with that hell. I deserve to die—"

"No, you don't Harry," Severus whispered as he knelt in front of Harry. "You don't deserve death. I'm sorry I got so angry," he spoke softly with genuine regret in his voice. He took Harry's hands gently in his, still kneeling. "I'm glad I can be here for you, that's what people do. Don't worry about letting your guard down with me. Let me care about you, Harry."

The reply came after a long silence. "Okay," Harry said, leaning forward and putting his head on Snape's shoulder. "I'm sorry. How do I fix this?"

"Perhaps not socializing with Miss. Lestrange," Severus began.

"Sev… I can't do that to her. I mean we just…"

"Alright," he said, stroking Harry's back, "We'll figure something out, we always do," he whispered.

After a few minutes, Harry sat up and looked Snape in the eyes. "Thank you, I feel like I don't say it enough."

"You're welcome," he replied softly, standing. "Unfortunately, I have to teach in a few minutes, but I have something else I'd like to discuss with you over dinner. Care to dine with me in my quarters?"

"I'd like that."

"Good, I'll see you in three hours," Severus said as Harry walked toward the door.

"See you then," he said and left.

Harry had been roaming the halls for a while before he decided to just head back to Snape's chambers. On his way there, he ran into Alex. "You alright?" He asked. Her eyes were red and puffy, he knew she'd been crying but didn't want to say it outright.

"I'm okay. Snape was mad at me for being late to class," she admitted.

"Yeah, I mean you are still a student and studies come first." He almost laughed, Harry never thought he would hear himself say that.

"Right. When do you leave?"

"Actually, I'm staying. I was going to tell you in the library, but I got a bit…. Distracted."

"Oh. Well I guess that means I get to see you more, right?" She asked sweetly.

"Of course. But, can I ask a favour?"

"What is it?"

"Can we…. Take things a little more slowly?" He asked hesitantly.

"Oh, okay. I thought you liked it?" She said, pouting a little.

"I did but it was new for me and I don't like it when relationships move that fast," Harry admitted.

"Okay, I don't want to push you," Alex said softly. She scanned the hall quickly and kissed Harry passionately. He leaned into the kiss, it was electrifying. Her hand grazed his butt and he pulled away slightly. "Sorry," she muttered, and pecked him on the cheek. "I can't be late to my next class!" She called over her shoulder as she sped off. He watched her go, a sad smile on his lips.

He continued on his way to Snape's chambers, thinking about what he should do about Alex. It was clear that she wanted to take things faster than he did, but he really liked her and didn't want to lose her. Sighing when he reached the door, he whispered the password and stepped in. He crossed the room and poured himself some of Sev's firewhiskey. _I'm going to have to buy him a new bottle if I keep this up,_ he thought as he took a sip.


	10. Chapter 10: Advice

Chapter 10: Advice

The following day, Harry went to dine with the professors at breakfast. An owl deposited a letter at his place and took off before he could give her a treat.

_Harry,_

_I'm sorry to hear you will not be taking the internship. I took the liberty of speaking with my superiors about training you wherever is convenient for you. They agreed. Since you've learned all the bookwork, we will be sparing most of the time. I'll need you to prepare an area that is suitable to what we will be doing. _

_Moody_

_PS. Where the hell are you?_

Harry laughed, earning him a quizzical stare from Snape and McGonagall. "Moody wants to continue my training from here. Do you think that would be alright?" He asked Dumbledore.

"I think that would be lovely, Harry," he replied with a twinkle in his eyes.

"We need somewhere to spar."

"I believe the Room of Requirement is available," he said with a wink.

"Brilliant. Thank you, Headmaster." Dumbledore nodded and turned to Minerva to discuss something. Harry turned to Snape and flashed him a small smile. It was retuned and he visibly relaxed. Harry finished his breakfast quickly and left the hall, hoping to catch Alex before her first class.

He found her on a bench just outside of the dining hall. "Hi Alex," he said softly to not frighten her.

"Harry," she replied with a small smile. She looked around.

"He's not here," he said, knowing she was searching for the potions master.

"Oh, good," Alex said, pulling him into a hug, he returned it. "Would you like to go out tomorrow night? We could sneak to Hogsmeade or something…."

"I don't think sneaking about is the most brilliant idea. But I know a place we can go. Meet me here tomorrow night at seven, okay?"

"Alright," she kissed him quickly and hurried off to class. Harry retreated to Snape's chambers. He needed to write a letter to Moody and really wanted to be alone for a while. When he got there, he grabbed a quill and ink and made for his favourite chair. As Harry sat in a leather chair, he heard the crunch of paper in his pocket. He pulled out a slip of parchment and unfolded it.

_Harry,_

_I'm sorry I rushed things. I didn't mean to frighten you. Really, I just wanted you to know that I was willing to give you my whole self. I'm not that great at the whole dating thing. I've only had two boyfriends and one was really… Well he wasn't nice. I thought you were leaving and I figured you might have… found someone else while you were away. I figured if you did find another, at least I would have that one memory with you. Can you understand that? _

_Snape told me to not speak with you—the arrogant twat. But I don't think I can do that… You've been nothing but nice to me. _

_I really like you, Harry, and if you want to take it slow, I'm more than willing to try. I've never had a slow relationship though. Please be patient with me and I will be with you. _

_-Alex _

He read it a few times before setting it on the arm of the chair beside him. _How did she manage to slip this into my pocket? _He cursed himself for not being observant. It was imperative that he be in order to complete his Auror training. He shook his head and set the note down, not knowing what to think of it. Instead he took out a quill and wrote Moody:

_I'm staying at Hogwarts. Dumbledore said you're welcome to come and we've already found a place to train. Thank you for doing this for me. It means a lot_

_-Harry Potter_

The next note he should write was harder. He had just gotten her name scrawled on the parchment when Snape walked in. "Afternoon, Sev," he said lightly.

"Harry," he replied tiredly.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm exhausted. What are you working on?"

"A letter to Alex—" he stopped speaking when he noticed the death glare.

"Well, go on," Severus urged. He just wanted Harry to get whatever was bothering him off his chest so he could relax.

"Sev, I don't want to make you angry, you've already had a bad day."

"It's alright. Tell me. Perhaps I could be of service," he said sitting on the couch across from him. In response, Harry sat by Sev and showed him the letter. He read it and sighed. "As much as I despise the thought of giving you dating tips when your significant other is my student, I do have a suggestion."

"Which is?"

"Take her out to a nice dinner. Set up precise boundaries so no one gets hurt." When Harry looked confused, Severus explained, "Tell her what's going too far and she can tell you what's not enough." Potter sill looked like he had no clue what's going on. "You're a bloody idiot, you know that, don't you Potter?"

"Yeah. And I'm horrible at dating."

"You're not the worst," he said with a half-smile.

"Thanks, I guess. And back to what you were saying… do you mean if like, I'm only comfortable with a kiss and she wants sex, we should compromise with, like, say—"

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Severus cut him off, not wanting to listen to any more. Harry laughed and Sev shot him a look.

"What?"

"I don't care to hear about your romantic endeavours!" He exclaimed, trying to not smile.

"Fair enough. Where should I take her? We can't exactly sneak out."

"It seemed as though you already had a plan," Sev said smoothly.

"You heard me!"

"And saw the kiss," he said, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

"You followed me!" Harry said with mock anger.

"You simply need to keep your affection hidden when in the middle of the castle," he replied using his normal lecturing drawl.

Harry groaned. "Now you sound like your old self."

"Yes, about me being an 'arrogant twat'…" Snape said smirking.

"Oh yeah, I sorta forgot about that bit," Harry said laughing.

"It lets me know I'm still doing my job!" He laughed, putting his arm around Harry. He leaned back into the embrace of his potions master, enjoying his scent and the comfort his presence provided. "Getting all comfy are you?" Harry nodded, leaning deeper into his chest. "I have lessons to plan!" Severus complained in jest.

"They can wait," Harry replied softly, burrowing into the black robes.

"They can wait," Severus agreed as he shifted position to more comfortably hold Harry on his chest.


	11. Chapter 11: Panic

Chapter 11: Panic

Harry woke, still laying on Severus. He didn't want to move and disturb him, so he stayed there thinking. His heart raced as he thought of his serious dinner with Alex. Panic coursed through his veins, making him shake. He tried to steady his breathing, but he couldn't relax.

Severus felt Harry shaking against his chest. He woke and put his arms around him, hoping it could help him calm a bit. He turned Harry's head slightly, so the young man could hear his heartbeat.

Harry concentrated on his potion master's arms around him and the powerful beat of the other man's heart. He felt his breathing slow and his heart-rate decrease. "Are you alright?" the deep voice asked quietly from beneath him.

"I think so. Sorry for waking you."

"Nightmare?"

"No, just worrying about Alex. I don't know how she'll take…boundaries. She's already having a rough time with what I told her about taking things slow."

"Harry…"

"I know, I know. You don't really want to get involved because she's a student."

"That wasn't what I was going to say."

"Oh."

"I was going to suggest that… perhaps Alex is only after the… more physical side of relationships."

"So she's going to get bored with me?" He asked sadly.

"Again, quit putting words in my mouth."

"Sorry."

Severus dismissed his apology with a wave. "Listen to what I'm saying and don't interrupt me." Harry nodded. "If Alex is only after sex, she might not be the girl for you," he said softly.

Harry sighed. "I know, but I have to try to get it to work. Right?"

"No, you don't have to, but if you want to, I'll be here for you. Alright?"

"Okay," he replied.

"Now that that's settled, let's have breakfast."

"Brilliant!"

After breakfast, Harry headed to the potion lab, hoping to catch Alex before her class. He was in luck, she was just about to go in the door when he caught her eye. "Harry!" She whispered excitedly.

"Alex," he whispered, trying desperately to keep the anxiety from his voice.

"What are you doing here?" she asked quizzically.

"I wanted to invite you to dinner."

"I thought you said you didn't wanna sneak out?" She questioned. There confusion in her tone, but a suggestive smile on her lips.

"I know, but we don't have to sneak out. I know somewhere we can go. If you're interested." She made a soft noise of joy and hugged him. He cleared his throat. "Not here, Alex!" Harry whispered, afraid someone important would see.

"Oops, sorry," she whispered, a little smile on her face. He smiled back and nodded to her.

"Meet me here at six, alright?"

"Okay!"

_6:00 pm._

Harry stood in front of the potion lab in a tux. He bounced on his toes as he waited for Alex. _What if she doesn't' want to see me because she thinks I'm breaking up with her? But she seemed so happy this morning… _Questions and fears plagued him until he heard the click of heels on stone. Alex appeared before him in a matter of seconds. She was wearing a long teal dress that shimmered as she walked. He looked down at her feet to see black, four-inch, heels strapped on her feet. "Sorry I was late, I was doing my make-up and time got away from me."

"It's okay," he replied, visibly relaxing.

"Where are we going?" She asked, smiling and biting her lip. _I love it when she does that, _Harry thought, remembering the first day they met. _She looked so shy and cute. Now… I know what's inside. _The thought made him shiver and she looked at him with concern.

"Just the chill of the dungeons," he replied nonchalantly, offering his arm. She took it and he led her to the Room of Requirement. When he opened the door, both were shocked to see what lay before them.

A black marble table with curving, black, metal legs stood in the middle of the room. Two chairs sat to either side. The room was lit by a chandelier of candles, hanging on an elegant, black chain. On the table sat two plates of chocolate cake. "I guess we're skipping dinner," Harry remarked.

"I suppose so. But dessert is the best part," she replied excitedly as he led her to the table. Harry pulled out the chair for her, being the gentleman he was. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, falling into his chair. They ate their cake in silence until Harry spoke again. "Alex, this is more of a… serious date." Confusion made its way across her face. He regretted his inability to ease into conversations but spoke anyway. "I…um… I wanted to talk to you about boundaries."

"Boundaries?" she asked innocently.

"Yeah. I um… I thought it might be a good idea to talk about what we expect from each other so that…" He trailed off not knowing how to word what he was trying to say.

"Why don't you want to sleep with me again? I knew you were lying when you said you liked it!" Alex yelled before she pouted. _Now I know what Sev felt like earlier. _

"I wasn't lying! I just don't want to do it again for a while!" His body crawled with disgust at the thought of feeling her against him again. Everything about this night suddenly felt wrong. He backed up from the table, trying to think of a logical reason to leave when he heard an owl outside the door. "Excuse me," he said, sprinting to the door. When he opened it, he found a school owl staring back at him, a letter attached to its leg. He untied and read it within a matter of seconds.

_Harry,_

_My office. NOW._

_S_

Harry turned to Alex with worry in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I have to go," he said apologetically, not trying to keep the fear from his voice.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked, incredibly concerned. Her anger was momentarily forgotten. But it sparked again when he spoke.

"I don't know. I have to go. Alone," he added as she stepped forward. "I'll make this up to you!" He cried as he dashed out the door.

Harry sprinted to Snape's office. He didn't knock when he arrived, just threw the door open. It slammed behind him as he jogged to Sev's desk. The man was staring at a vial with great concentration. "What is it?" Harry asked softly, trying to not alarm him.

"It's Alex."


	12. Chapter 12: The Truth

Chapter 12: The Truth

"It's Alex," Severus repeated.

"What about her?"

He set the vial down and looked Harry in the eyes. Sighing heavily, he spoke. "The rising Dark Lord isn't a Lord at all. She's a Lady."

"No," Harry whispered, shaking and stepping back. "No!" He didn't want to believe it.

"Harry…" Severus said, standing and walking closer to him. He closed the distance and clung to Snape's robes. His head was spinning as he tried to grasp what he had done.

"I—we—I didn't know and she… We…" He started hyperventilating and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Shh." Sev rubbed Harry's back as he clung to him for dear life. "It's okay. We all make mistakes. I pledged my life to the last Dark Lord and look what happened to me!"

"But you didn't fuck him! He wasn't a bloody student! You didn't date him and develop feelings for him—" Snape cut Harry off before he made himself too upset. He was too late.

"Please, please try to calm down, Harry," Severus pleaded. Harry pushed him off, feeling bile rise in his throat. He backed up and slipped to the floor, head in his hands. His head was still spinning and a storm of emotions brewed inside him. Harry didn't know if he wanted to cry or scream. He curled into a ball, hugging his knees to his stomach and rocking slightly. The feeling of her against him echoed through his mind. He could feel her hot skin against his cold frame, it frightened and sickened him. Harry started scratching at his neck and arm, trying to claw the feeling away, it wasn't working. Severus watched in horror as Harry stood, still scratching, and ran at the wall.

"GET OFF ME!" He screamed at what appeared to be empty space beside his bleeding arm. Harry violently threw himself at the wall and floor before Snape got his bearings and sprinted over to the young man.

"STOP!" He yelled, trying to get him to snap out of it. Harry scratched the front of his potion master's robes, blind to the world. All he saw was Alex atop him, trying to have her way with him once more. Harry punched, scratched, and kicked until Snape finally cast an immobilizing spell on him. "I'm sorry, Harry," he whispered as the young man twitched on the floor, fighting the spell. Slowly, his fidgeting stopped and he relaxed, falling asleep on the floor of Snape's office.

Severus watched as Harry slept, not knowing if he should wake him or wait. He decided on the latter, asking the house elves to bring him coffee to assist him in remaining awake. Five hours passed before Harry's eyes flickered open. "Sev?" He asked, confused and dazed. Harry could feel dried blood on his arm, side, and neck. "What's going on?" He inquired, realizing that he was on the floor.

"I was going to ask you the same thing…" Snape replied, a bit frightened. His hand shook with fear as he set his coffee on the table

"I think Alex was in my head," he stated with a shaking voice.

"Relax, Harry, stay relaxed." Harry nodded as Severus walked over to sit with him. "That isn't good, though," he commented, pulling Harry onto his chest. The young man relaxed hearing Snape's heartbeat.

"How… How did she do that?" Severus cleared his throat. He had a vague idea of how some nasty dark magic worked and didn't want to scare him. "What? What do you know?"

"There are some… spells… binding spells… That involve… intimacy… to work," he replied awkwardly.

"What did she do to me?!" Harry cried. Snape pulled him closer to him, stroking his hair.

"Shhh, I'd have to do some research, but I have a few ideas."

"Such as?"

"Since she can…. Enter your mind—or so it appears," he added when Harry looked absolutely terrified. "It limits the number of spells she used. Unless she is as powerful as the Dark Lord was—which is highly unlikely," he continued. Severus sighed, "I'm not helping, am I?"

"Just shut up for now," Harry said, leaning into him, tears streaming down his cheeks. Snape put his arms protectively around the man in his arms. "See," Harry said sleepily, "This is how to comfort someone."

"Hmm." He pulled him even closer and gave his hand a quick squeeze. It was returned. Harry didn't sleep but too comfort in feeling Snape's arms about him. "Harry?" Severus asked after two hours.

"Hm?"

"We need to work on Occlumency."

"Five more minutes," he mumbled into Sev's chest. Snape sighed heavily and shifted to a more comfortable position.

"You're not sleeping," he noted aloud.

"So?" The sleepy voice said. "You're a good pillow." Snape scoffed but let him lay there for a few more minutes.

"Alright, up!" He commanded softly. Harry pushed himself off of his old professor and sat across from him on the concrete.

"What do we do?" He asked quietly.

"We begin lessons." Harry groaned.

"Now?"

"Now."

"This is just like bloody school," he complained, trying to cover up his fear with jokes and sarcasm.

"Come on, Potter," Severus grumbled, standing. Harry stood as well and sat in a chair actoss from Snape.

"Alright, let's go," Harry grunted.

Severus entered Harry's mind with no problem. Memories flew past him: _Snippets of Quiddich games, Ron and Hermione laughing, Alex smiling at him suggestively, her shirt fluttering to the ground, her forcing herself onto him. _Snape pulled back before he saw things he didn't want to see. "You haven't practiced at all, have you?"

"I haven't really had much time!" Harry retorted, frustrated with himself more than anything else.

"Again," Severus instructed. This time he was met with a bit of resistance, but pushed through with shocking ease. Harry's memory of losing his virginity to Alex played out in full. Severus planned to pull back but he could feel Harry fighting and wanted to give him a chance. He was only in for a few seconds before Harry successfully pushed him out.

"Was that necessary?!" Harry nearly yelled. He was irate that Snape watched the entire scene.

"It made you do what needed to be done," he replied. Harry stood and stalked about the office, trying to cool off before he sat in front of Severus again. "Sorry," he grumbled, his cheeks a deep red.

"I should apologize as well. I should have found a different memory."

Harry shrugged and tried to prepare for Snape to attack again, it never came.

"Shall we try again tomorrow?" Severus asked cautiously.

"Sure, but… I'm terrified," Harry admitted.

"As you should be," he commented, not knowing what else to say.

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Of course," Severus replied confidently. He was starting to like the idea of having someone next to him all the time.


	13. Chapter 13: So Beautiful When the Boy Sm

Chapter 13: So Beautiful When the Boy Smiles

Harry woke before Severus; he realized with great joy that he'd slept all night and Alex hadn't bothered him. A smile spread across his face as he snuggled closer to Snape, curling into him. He breathed in his scent, a mixture of spices and herbs, coffee, and something sweet… _chocolate? Vanilla? _It was hard to tell with the accompanying scents. Harry gave up on guessing the sweet thing and just relaxed. He could feel Severus's strong chest muscles against his cheek, they were flexed even in his sleep. Harry put a hand to the other man's stomach, curious as to whether or not the man had abs. He was surprised to find that he did. _I never pinned him as one to be so fit. _Thinking back to his days at Hogwarts, Snape always seemed to be intimidating and skeletal, never muscular. _But never someone with whom you'd want to duel,_ he thought with a perplexed scowl. He removed his hand and shifted to a more comfortable position.

The movement woke Severus. He opened an onyx eye and stared at the raven hair brushing against his chin. It appeared as though Harry was unaware that Severus was awake as he, ever so cautiously, pressed a hand to Snape's ribcage. He could feel each individual rib and was shocked to find that he liked the feeling. Harry traced his own ribs with his free hand, comparing their bone structures. It was odd, their ribs both had numerous dents in various places. Harry knew his were from the Dursleys, and assumed Snape's were from the Dark Lord. He ran his hands over their ribs once more, marveling at the fact that the material of his shirt made it feel as though there were no scars. He took his hand away and put it comfortably beneath him. "Finished committing my form to mind?" Severus's low voice inquired, making Harry jump.

"I… um… uh…"

"Very eloquent today," he noted, his smile echoed in his voice.

"I thought you were still asleep," Harry said lamely. He could feel Snape laughing beside him. "Oh shut up!"

"Make me," he challenged. Harry just swatted at him, hitting him softly in the chest. They laid there for a few minutes before Severus asked Harry if he wanted food. His stomach rumbled in response, sending Harry into a fit of laughter. Snape chuckled a bit.

After breakfast, the two started working on Occlumency. Several failed attempts at blocking his old professor later, Harry called for a break. "What tell hell am I doing wrong?!" He practically screamed.

"I'm right here," Severus said calmly, walking closer. "You're not doing anything incorrectly. You just need more practice." Harry huffed but agreed to a few more rounds before lunch.

On the last try, Severus had quite a bit of difficulty entering his mind. When he did, he was confronted with awful memories. Images of razors, knives, scars, cuts, and blood assaulted him. Snape pulled back early and turned away from him. "S-s-sorry?" Harry said softly, not knowing if it was his fault or not.

"Don't apologize, Harry. I knew they were there and figured I would see them eventually," he replied shakily. Taking a deep breath, he tried to steady himself. It didn't matter how many times he saw memories like that, he always felt sick afterward. Additionally, they were a bit triggering for him. _It's been Twenty-five years and I still want to—_

"Come on, let's go eat, you look dreadful," Harry said, interrupting Snape's thought. He looked at the younger man gratefully and followed him to the kitchen.

Severus picked at his food. He wasn't particularly hungry, but didn't want to cause Harry unnecessary worry. "Are you alright?" Harry asked him after nearly half an hour of silence.

"I'm fine," he replied smoothly, keeping all the fear from his voice.

"Well if you're sure… ready to get back to the lesson?" Severus nodded as he stood. He knew had to push past his pain and fear to help Harry. _It wouldn't be the first time,_ he thought bitterly. They made their way back to the room and began again.

After countless tries, Harry was finally able to keep Snape out for a full five minutes. Both collapsed on the floor, covered in sweat, and breathing heavily. "Well… Done… Potter," Severs said between ragged breaths.

"Thanks," he replied in a similar fashion. "Can… we call… it … a day?"

"Yes," Severus said, rolling onto his back. Harry stood and walked over to him. He offered a hand, which Snape took, and pulled him to a standing positon.

"Do you want to shower first, or can I?"

"You may," he replied, still unsteady on his feet. Harry led him over to the couch before making his way to the bathroom.

Once they were both clean and Severus had drank an Invigorating Draught to get some strength back, they made their way to the Great Hall to have dinner with the other professors.

"Mr. Potter!" McGonagall exclaimed as he walked to the table. "So nice of you to join us!" He smiled in response and took his seat beside Snape. Harry listened to her tell numerous stories about her students before he realized that Severus missed all his classes to teach him. He tried to appear as though guilt didn't just shoot through his heart, but his face betrayed him long enough for one of his previous professors to notice.

Severus saw a look of realization cross Harry's face, quickly followed by a flicker of guilt. He wanted to ask what he'd just remembered when a thought occurred to him. _I was supposed to teach today. Shit._ He glanced at Dumbledore, who appeared to be very interested in Minerva's story about a particularly bright young witch. He tried to get the elder man's attention but only succeeded in spilling Harry's goblet. A quick swish of the wand and the mess was gone. Severus gave up and quickly scribbled a note to the Headmaster, explaining why he'd neglected his classes. He gave it to a school owl with the instruction to leave the castle and come back before it delivered his letter. It did as told. When Dumbledore received the note, his eyes twinkled in the way they always did. The elder wizard gave Snape a small smile before tucking the parchment in his pocket and turning back to the conversation at hand. Severus scanned the Slytherin table and found Alex staring up at him with an evil smirk. His face betrayed no emotion, but terror flared in the pit of his stomach. Losing his appetite, he waited until it was polite to excuse himself from the table and just hoped Harry would follow his lead. Fortunately, he did.

When they returned to his chambers, he immediately asked Harry what was wrong. "I um, I felt bad about making you miss all your classes… I didn't really realize it until dinner…" He said softly.

"Don't worry about it," he replied. "Your only concern should be Alex."

"She stared at me most of dinner…"

"And?" Severus pressed, feeling as though there was more. He was correct.

"And I felt this need to be by her… This pull… as though she was willing me to kiss her… I was nearly unable to resist, but then you stood and... well, here we are." This new development worried Snape more than he was willing to admit. _Though, it does further narrow the possible bonds used…_ Severus thought.

"I see," was all he could say before his voice cracked.

"What is it?" Harry asked worriedly. Severus replied by sitting on the couch and motioning for Potter to sit beside him. He complied and leaned into the dark robes, inhaling deeply. Severus pulled him closer, as close as he could possibly be. _I will protect him. No matter what,_ he silently told himself with steel resolve, as he stared at the man in his arms. His heart leapt into his throat as he thought of losing him. Harry smiled up at him, completely content now that he felt safe in Snape's embrace. Severus smiled back, an odd thought in his mind. _He's so beautiful when he smiles. Did I just call him beautiful? _


	14. Chapter 14: Here We Go Again

Chapter 14: Here We Go Again

The following day, Severus woke early. He pried himself from Harry's tight grasp, careful not to wake him. His heart thundered in his chest and blood pounded in his ears as he thought about the possible bonds Alex used on Harry. He went to his library and started pulling out books he had about bonds. After three hours of reading, Severus was only slightly closer to figuring out what Alex had done to Potter. There were a couple banned bonds that had some similarities:

_Death's Desire- A bond that can only be created through sexual intercourse. This bond forces the non-caster to bend to the will of the caster. The non-caster will feel compelled to engage in various sexual acts with the caster when eye-contact is made. The non-caster will be unable to resist compulsion. The non-caster will always feel the touch of the caster when caster is not present. If the non-caster is away from the caster for too long, he or she will perish (for death becomes a better option than living another second without the caster). Bond is created using a wand and physical contact._

_Master Bond- A bond that a master can use on a slave. Forces slave to comply with Master's will. Slave can feel anything should the master desire it. Feelings can range anywhere from the gentle touch of the master to the pain of Crucio. Slave becomes obsessed with master, will not rest unless master orders them to do so. Bond is created using a wand. _

Severus leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples. He could feel a headache coming on and wasn't in the mood to teach. _None of these bonds fit exactly, _he thought as he exasperatedly ran a hand through his hair. Finally, he gave up and left to go to breakfast.

Harry rolled over in bed, onto Snape's side. He inhaled the scent of the other man and smiled as he snuggled deeper into the pillows and slept for another hour. When he woke, he realized Severus was gone. _Where would he be? _Harry checked the time. _7:02, maybe he's just up early, _he reasoned as he got out of bed. He took a shower and made his way to the kitchen; but something stopped him. The library was torn apart; there were books everywhere. They littered the floor, were scattered about the table, there were even a few open on the mantle. "What the…" he whispered to the emptiness. Harry ran out of Snape's chambers, panic engulfing him. _What if something happened to Severus? Shit! _He smacked into a wall and heard a snap. Pain exploded through his face, but he ignored it. He ran to the Great Hall and found it empty, save for a few dallying students. "Dammit," he muttered under his breath. Harry changed directions and ran back to the dungeons, heading for Snape's classroom. Before he reached the door, a familiar blonde intercepted his path.

"Harry," she whispered.

"Alex, I really don't have time for this," he hissed; his fear getting the better of him as scenarios of Snape dying played out in his head.

"I was only going to ask what—" before she could finish her sentence, Harry pushed past her and threw open the doors. The class of fifth years turned in their seats to see who came in with such haste. Snape, however, stared in horror.

"What. Happened. Potter," he asked through clenched teeth.

"Thank Merlin, you're okay," Harry said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Yes, but are you?" He asked quietly, slowly striding to Harry.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Severus turned him to face a mirror. His reflection stared back at him with a look of shock. Blood poured from his nose; it was splattered down the front of his gray shirt and was quickly forming a puddle on the stone floor beneath him. "Oh," was all he could say as he reached a hand up to touch his now-crooked nose.

"Don't!" Snape snapped and Harry's hand fell. "Go to the hospital wing. I'll meet you there," he whispered as he started to walk away. Harry shot out a hand and grabbed Snape's robes, all the while praising some higher being that none of the students could see his hand. "Yes," he drawled in a whisper.

"Alex was outside when I came," he replied softly, letting go of his robes. Severus growled. "Sorry?"

"Don't apologize. Take a seat over there," he gestured to a stool in the back corner, spelled the doors closed, and walked to the front of class to continue his lecture.

Harry watched as the fifth years attempted to brew their potions. It turned into a game for him. _Those two, _he thought, _are Ron and me. And that's Malfoy, _he noted as Snape nodded at the potion before him. A cauldron across the room exploded. "Twenty points from Gryffindor!" Severus sneered as he approached the smoldering remains. _Seamus_, Harry decided as he tried to hold back a laugh. Eventually, the lecture ended and the students filed out. Harry stood shakily for a few minutes before he fell back onto the stool. "Are you alright?" Severus asked as he briskly made his way to Harry.

"I um… I thought so?"

"Is your nose still bleeding?"

"A little," he said as he pressed his hand to it.

"Put your arm around my neck," he instructed. Harry did so and Snape pulled him into his arms.

"I didn't think you'd want to get caught carrying someone, Sev," he teased.

"Don't make me drop you, Potter," Severus replied with a smirk. "And no one will see us," he said as he slipped into one of the teacher passage ways.

"So this is how you got to the classroom so quickly," he marveled.

"Of course."

"Huh," Harry said, wondering if this was on the Map.

"What?"

"Nothing, just thinking how useful this would have been when I was a student." Snape snorted. Harry's head started spinning.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't…. I don't know, I think—" he blacked out.

"Potter? Potter?!" Severus harshly whispered. He quickened his pace, making it to the Hospital Wing far more quickly than he thought possible.

"What is it Severus?" Poppy asked, staring at the bloody bundle in his arms.

"Potter, who else?" He tried to speak sarcastically, but his fear made him sound hysterical.

"Set him on a bed," she directed. He did so then stood awkwardly beside the bed awaiting further instruction. "You may go now," she said softly.

"What's wrong with him?"

"I'm sure it's just blood loss," Poppy replied, patting his hand. He shook his head and sighed.

"It's never that simple with him. He might be under the influence of a dark bond," Severus admitted.


	15. Chapter 15: Carry Me Home

Chapter 15: Carry Me Home

"What?!" Poppy practically roared. Severus stared at her in silence, allowing her to digest the information. "What do you mean 'might'?"

"We, Potter and I, are unsure as to what type of bond it is, though I suspect it falls into the category of a dark bond," he replied slowly, sadness creeping into his tone.

"And do you know who is to blame for this?" She asked as she gave Harry a blood replenishing potion and stopped his nose from bleeding.

"Yes," he said reluctantly after a few minutes of silence.

"Who?" She inquired as she waved her wand, changing Harry into a white hospital gown. "Severus," Poppy said warningly when he didn't answer.

"Alex Lestrange," Snape whispered. Madame Pomfrey gasped.

"Is the headmaster aware?"

"No."

"I'll floo him," she said as she walked closer to her office.

"Wait!" He knew he needed to stall. _I don't want to be the one to inform the headmaster that Potter shagged a student. _

"Yes?"

"What about Potter? Is he going to be okay?" Severus didn't try to hold back the fear in his voice. He truly was worried about Harry. Poppy walked over to him and led him to a chair.

"Sit here, Severus, I'll only be a minute," she said patting his hand. When Madame Pomfrey returned to her office to make the fire call, Snape rushed over to Harry's bed.

"Harry, please wake up. Please," he begged. Severus didn't notice it when he intertwined his hand with Potter's. He also didn't notice the tears running down his face as he thought about the possibility of him dying. "Please," he whispered as Poppy returned.

"The headmaster is on his way—What's the matter?" She asked him, seeing the tears on his cheeks. He cleared his throat and ran a hand down his face, drying the evidence of his pain.

"Nothing." She gave him a look that told him she didn't believe him, but didn't press the issue.

"Sev?" Harry's voice was barely audible.

"Yes, yes, I'm here!" He said quickly, giving Harry's hand a squeeze.

"She's in my head again," he whispered before he fainted again.

"Shit."

"Alex?" Poppy asked, having watched the whole scene play out before her.

"Yes," Severus said, sighing heavily.

Before she had a chance to respond, Dumbledore came in. "I came as soon as I could," he said addressing the two who were standing. "How is he?" Harry heard Albus's voice and decided he was interested in the conversation. The blackness of unconsciousness kept creeping toward him, but he kept it at bay.

"Not well," Snape replied, casually letting go of Harry's hand.

"Poppy said something about a dark bond?" He inquired, his brows furrowed.

"Indeed. Potter might be connected to Alex Lestrange through a dark bond. I've searched many of the books in my chambers and none of the bonds in those sound anything like this."

"What do you know about exchanges made between Miss. Lestrange and Mr. Potter?" Severus shifted uncomfortably at the question and made no indication of answering. "Severus?" Albus prodded.

"They met in the hall when Lestrange dropped her books and Potter picked them up for her. Their friendship evolved into something more…" he trailed off, not wanting to explain.

"Yes?" The headmaster pushed.

"Eventually the two engaged in some… scandalous behaviours…"Shock flashed across Albus's face and any twinkle in his eyes vanished.

"Are you trying to tell me they had sex?"

"Yes," he said slowly.

"This is very serious indeed. Why did you not inform me before?" The elder wizard asked sternly.

"I figured I could handle it myself, seeing as it deals with dark magic," he replied, feeling like a child getting scolded.

"I understand you are a proud man, Severus, but sometimes you need help," he said softly. Snape nodded and looked over at Harry. Madame Pomfrey had covered him up as the men spoke.

"What can we do?" Severus asked helplessly.

"I'll do some research. In the meantime, stay with him." Albus said looking from Poppy to Severus.

"We will," she said before he could open his mouth.

"Headmaster?" Harry said softly. All three jumped and turned to face him. None of them knew he was awake, nor for how long.

"Yes, Harry?"

"I'm sorry for liking Alex. I guess I learned my lesson."

"There is nothing to apologize for, my boy. Love knows no bounds." Harry nodded sadly and looked at Snape.

"I'm sorry. I should have listened to you." Severus smiled sadly but said nothing on the matter, he was just elated that Harry woke and appeared unharmed.

"You said she was your mind?" Snape asked him.

"Yeah. We were just talking in a room. She tried to get me to come talk to her in… real life?" He asked trying to think of the correct word. The three nodded, urging him to continue. He did. "But I told her 'no'. It was a long process. We argued a lot… Do you think that's why I fainted? Do you think I fainted so that she could talk to me?" He asked, rephrasing his question.

"Perhaps," Dumbledore replied, thinking. Severus looked displeased.

"Sorry," Harry said again, looking at Snape.

"Stop apologizing, dear" Poppy said softly. She hated to see anyone in pain.

"I'm not angry with you, Harry," Snape said softly, taking Harry's hand again.

"Okay. I'm scared," he admitted. His mind was still foggy but he was slowly collecting his thoughts.

"Me too," Severus said as he knelt beside the bed. "But we're going to figure this out. We're going to help you. I promise." Neither Severus nor Harry could see the smile on Albus's face, nor the twinkle in his eye. "Please try to shield your mind."

"I'm trying but it's draining," he whispered.

"I know. But the more you do it, the safer you'll be and the easier it'll get." Harry sighed and smiled a little.

"Harry, could I ask you for some memories?" Albus inquired.

"Sure, which ones do you want?"

"Any one of them containing Alex." Harry sighed as he picked up his wand, calling forth all his memories of Alex. He put his wand to his temple and extracted copies of the desired memories. Severus handed him a vial and he put the shimmery substance in it. He handed the vial to the headmaster, not looking him in the eyes.

"Harry, you needn't be embarrassed," Dumbledore said gently, stowing the vial.

"Okay," he replied, feeling like a child. Desperate to find a better conversation, he spoke up again. "Is there any way that I can just stay with Severus? Quite honestly, his chambers are a bit more comfortable than here, no offence Madame Pomfrey."

"Please, call me Poppy. And that can be arranged. Just be sure to come back here should any problems arise."

"Will do," Harry said happily. He tried to sit up, but was immediately dizzy and fell back onto the pillows behind him. "Sev?" He asked, pleading for help. Snape put his arm around Harry and lifted him into his arms, just like he did to bring him to the infirmary. Albus smiled at the two of them. Harry turned his head into Severus's chest and inhaled deeply, relaxing knowing he was safe.

"If that's all, we will be on our way," Snape said, turning.

"I'll speak with you tomorrow, Severus," Albus called after him. Harry smiled up at his potions master.

"Thanks Sev."

"I'll always be here for you, Harry," he said as he carried him back to his chambers.


	16. Chapter 16: Disamorezen

Chapter 16: Disamorezen

Harry was asleep before Severus made it back to his chambers. He set him gently in his bed, tucking him in before he left. He went into his library and poured himself a glass of firewhiskey. Snape slowly sipped the liquid and pondered what to do about Harry. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he was falling for him. _This is the absolute worst time for me to like him,_ he thought bitterly. Before he had time to think on it more, his eyelids flickered closed and he fell asleep.

The hours ticked by, both men unaware of time passing. Around 3am, Severus was awoken by a _woosh_ and the tell-tale glow of green flames, alerting him to a visitor. He grabbed his wand and stood, facing the fireplace. Silhouetted before him was none other than Dumbledore. Snape exhaled slowly and lowered his wand, his expression of fear quickly melted to a glare. "Headmaster. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He growled.

"I'm sorry to disturb you at such an hour, my boy. But I think I might have discovered the bond between Harry and Alex," he replied in a whisper.

"Go on," he drawled.

"I believe it to be a Disamorezen bond."

Severus gasped. "No…" He breathed. "No!"

"I didn't think they were possible either," Albus replied gravely.

"What can we do?" He allowed the fear to bleed into his voice.

"What does a Disamorezen bond do?" Asked a third voice, making the other two jump.

"Harry, when did you wake?" Severus asked.

"When I heard him come in."

"I'm sorry to wake you with such bad news, my boy. It seems as though Alex has used one of the darkest bonds imaginable."

"What does it do?" He pressed, looking at Snape.

Severus opened his mouth to speak but found he was unable to do so. Albus answered for him. "I'm not entirely sure if it is this bond—"

"Just tell me," Harry interrupted coldly.

"He has a right to know," Severus choked.

"This particular bond allows you free will as long as Alex permits it. But it gives her access to your mind regardless of the shields you use. She can force you to think or feel however she sees fit if she is making eye-contact. Alex can use the bond to speak to you through your mind. She can use it to make you feel her beside you—" before he could finish, Harry turned and sprinted to the bathroom. He curled into a small ball in front of the toilet, crying. The fear took over him and he heard her voice.

"_Don't be scared Harry. We could be together. A team. We could rule the wizard and muggle worlds. As one. Our children would be more famous than you_ ever were—"

"Stop! Please stop it Alex! Please!" Harry begged.

"_But I don't want to," she pouted in his mind. "I want you to love me."_

"I barely know you!"

"_You know the pleasure I can bring. You know the scared little girl I can pretend to be, innocent and sweet—"_

"But I have an idea of who you really are. Normal people don't force relationships on people who don't want them."

"_You had to want it when I administered the bond. Remember the day at the Library? How you felt when you were inside me? I was everything to you," she purred. _

"How? How did you create the bond?" He demanded, not wanting to think about their relationship.

"_How? Silly little boy, you wouldn't understand how!" She cackled. _

"Tell me!"

"_I'll explain it in simple terms, then, since you're so adamant you learn," Alex said, smirking. "I started brewing the potion part of the bond when I learned that you visited the school on random occasion. The time came that I'd need something from you. You had to willingly provide me with something like sweat or saliva. The first day I met you, you handed me my books; you provided me with sweat. Did you know your hands were sweaty? I immediately took a book to my potion and added it after lunch. The next step was simple. I needed to add a combination of our saliva. We kissed the night you walked me back to the dungeons."_

Harry cried on the floor as he listened to her explain how she was able to create the bond. He couldn't hear Severus as he sat beside him. Nor did he feel his touch when Snape cradled him in his arms. All he could do was listen to Alex.

"_The next step was trickier. I needed your scream. I didn't think it would be too hard. So I entered your dream. You wouldn't understand how I collected a sound, don't worry your little head about that one. Anyway, that was the final ingredient to the potion. All I needed after that was you… and of course my wand. You made it easy. Again! I suppose I should thank you. You needed to drink the potion before having sex with me. Remember when I sucked you? You tasted awful by the way. I poured the potion slowly down your throat. I doubt you even noticed. You know what happened next. Then, while you were screaming in ecstasy, I was chanting the incantation… The spell was the final thing that made the bond complete." She paused to laugh at his stupidity. _

"GET OUT OF MY MIND!" He roared.

_Alex felt herself getting pushed back. "This isn't possible!" she screamed as she became smaller and smaller in his mind until she disappeared completely. _

Harry opened his eyes and found himself in Snape's arms. He was rocking him gently and murmuring things Harry couldn't quite understand. "Sev," he said softly. The rocking stopped as Severus looked down into the emerald eyes.

"Harry," he breathed, holding him more tightly.

"I forced her out of my mind. She'll be back, but she's gone for now," he said quietly. Snape pressed his lips to Harry's forehead.

"You're okay for now," he whispered. "I'm here, Harry."

Dumbledore watched the scene unfold from the doorway. He looked at Harry in Snape's arms and a sad smiled crossed his face. It vanished before Severus looked over.

"How can we destroy the bond?" He asked the elder wizard.

"I haven't discovered that yet," he replied sadly. Harry sagged into Severus at the news, but Snape stayed strong.

"We will fix this," he whispered as he cradled him closer. "I promise."


	17. Chapter 17: I Think I Love Him

**A/N I'm so sorry this is late! I was in the process of moving and then school started! I'll try to update more! I promise! Thanks for sticking with me, lovely humans. **

Chapter 17: I Think I Love Him

Hours passed before Severus and Harry got off the floor. Snape suggested food but Harry turned it down, claiming he was too tired to eat. He went into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Severus was left alone with his thoughts. _Damn old fool. He should have waited to tell us until he had a solution! Potter's bloody terrified. I'm terrified, _he thought weakly. _Powerless. I was powerless against the Dark Lord, I'm powerless against Alex. What the hell am I good for anyway? _His thoughts drifted back to Occlumency with Harry. More specifically, the time he got through and was confronted by razors and blood. Severus sighed as he pushed his sleeves back and looked at his scarred arms. He longed to feel the blade again, even after so many years of being clean. His gaze fell on Harry's door and he angrily shoved his sleeve back down. _I have to be strong for him, even if not for myself._ He pushed himself off the couch. A glance at the time told him that he'd been sitting around thinking for an hour. Severus quietly pushed open Harry's door and found him crying in his sleep. He made his way around the bed and rested his hand on Harry's back. "Shh, don't cry. I'm here. It's going to be alright," he whispered softly. The young man's sobs quieted and he drifted back into a seemingly peaceful slumber. Severus tried to see into Harry's mind, to learn what he was dreaming, but found only blankness. He smiled to see that Harry had learned to guard his mind in his sleep. Severus turned to leave, but when he got to the door, something stopped him. He felt a pull to Harry, one he couldn't resist. Snape grumbled to himself about "stupid care and emotions." But quickly fell into bed bedside Harry and wrapped him in his arms, sleep claiming him at once.

Harry woke first. He stared at Severus as he slept, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath. _He looks calm and happy in his sleep. Unguarded… _The last thought gave Harry and idea. He tried to see if he could see into Snape's mind, but found it more heavily guarded than he thought possible. _Damn, he's good, _Harry thought with a smirk. He rolled over and smiled as Snape opened his eyes sleepily. "Good morning handsome."

"Sucking up, are you?" Severus said softly.

"For what?" Harry asked as innocently as he could.

"For trying to see my thoughts."

"You noticed, then," he inquired, his cheeks flaming.

"Indeed. C'mere you little shit," he said, a smile tugging at his lips. Harry snuggled closer so Severus could put his arms around him.

"You're a big sweetie, you know that?" He mumbled into the black robes. Snape growled softly. "Oh hush, you know it."

"And if you tell a damn soul—"

Harry erupted into a fit of laughter, "I know," he said between giggles. Severus rolled his eyes, but allowed himself a small smile. The sound of Harry's laugh was irresistible.

"Come on, let's get breakfast," he whispered in Harry's ear.

"But we've only just started getting all snuggly," he complained in jest.

"Come on! UP!" Severus said as he stood, holding Harry in his arms.

"Merlin, you're strong," he whispered. Snape smirked as he set him on the ground and made his way to the kitchen. "You know you're still wearing your robes from yesterday, right?" Harry asked snarkily, as he padded after Sev.

"Hm, I guess I am," he noted absentminded as he cracked eggs into a bowl. Severus shrugged off his outer robes and stood before Harry in a black T-shirt and jeans.

"Just like before," Harry stated.

"You expected me to change?"

"No, it's only been a few years," he joked. Severus pulled his shirt off, revealing his flat chest and stomach. Harry starred at the porcelain body before him, taking in every inch of the man before him. HE noted how Snape's ribs stuck out, each screaming to be noticed.

"You're leering," he said as he walked to his room to change. Harry tried to look away when Snape commented but he couldn't. His eyes followed the sleek form until it disappeared. Severus shut the door behind him and reemerged a few minutes later in what appeared to be the exact same clothes. "I see you haven't moved," he observed as Harry tried his best to correct his posture. He looked at everything and but Snape. However, he couldn't get the sight to leave his mind. "Something on your mind Potter?" He drawled, his voice like silk.

"You," he choked out before he could stop himself. Severus smirked triumphantly as he served Harry his eggs.

"Alright, eat," he commanded after he sat. Harry picked up his fork and scooped some egg onto it. HE didn't notice when they fell from the utensil and into his lap. Severus suppressed a smirk. "Potter, your gawking is very unbecoming." This snapped Harry back to reality.

"Shit, sorry," he said as he tried to get the egg off his pants. Snape waved his wand and they were clean. "Thanks. I really need to remember that one…" Harry said laughing.

"It's a simple cleaning spell," he replied in a lecture monotone. Harry groaned.

"Not that again," he said under his breath.

"What?"

"You speak in this monotone when you lecture. It's literally the hardest thing to listen to. EVER!"

"Hmmm."

"What?"

"Is it as boring when I do this?" He asked as he kissed Harry on the cheek.

"No," he replied, blushing.

"Brilliant," Severus said with a smile. A genuine smile. _That smile could destroy his entire reputation,_ Harry thought as he wrapped his arms around Sev's neck. "What do you think you're doing?" He inquired.

Harry wrinkled his nose. "Nothing when you've got egg breath!"

"And you've got morning breath, eat your damn eggs!" He said as he cleared his dishes.

Harry laughed and finished his breakfast before Severus could distract him again. _I think I love him, _Harry thought.

_I love him, _Severus thought as he watched Harry clear his own dishes. _I'll love him forever. _


	18. Chapter 18: The Quill

Chapter 18: The Quill

The next few days passed in agonizing slowness. Finally, Moody arrived; a break in the monotony. (Though, neither Snape nor Harry found their cuddling time the least bit boring.) "Potter," a scratchy voice said from behind the professors table. Harry turned around to find himself face to face with Alastor Moody.

"Moody!" He exclaimed, offering him a hand to shake. Severus sneered at the interaction.

"Alastor, always a pleasure," Dumbledore said as he rose to greet the man.

"Alright, enough," Moody said gruffly after most of the professors had greeted him. "Potter, we need to get to your training, straight away." Harry smiled at Snape before he followed his new instructor to the Room of Requirement.

Severus felt a pang in his chest as he watched Harry go. He knew it was irrational, _I'll see him at dinner for Merlin's sake. _But he couldn't ignore the fire of love smoldering in his chest. It infuriated him. _I shouldn't love him… He'll never love me. At least not with Alex contorting his thoughts and mind. Alex—_"Severus?" The sound of his name pulled him from his terrible thoughts.

"Yes, headmaster?"

"You should be teaching." Severus stood calmly and proceeded to his classroom. When he got to the dungeons, he could hear the chatter of students awaiting his lecture.

"Silence," he hissed as he entered. The students did as told, though he decided to chastise them for being loud moments ago. "The dungeons aren't meant for raucous laughter you bumbling idiots! They are a place to learn about potions and— Miss. Lestrange, what do you think you're doing?" He growled.

"Nothing Professor, just taking notes," she replied innocently.

"Whose blood is that?" Severus inquired as he stared at her pen in horror.

"No one important, sir."

"Hand it over," he commanded, holding out his skeletal fingers. She gave him the quill, a stubborn glare etched in her eyes. "As I was saying…" He continued as though nothing was out of place; as though his mind wasn't spinning as he considered all the things she'd already written with Potter's blood.

Harry and Moody had been sparring for a few minutes before Harry felt a slight burn in his back. He shook his head and kept fighting for another fifteen minutes before Moody stopped. "C'mon," Harry encouraged. "You never give up this easily." He was panting from exhaustion and was absolutely drenched in sweat.

"You've not been practicing."

"When have I had the time—ACK!"

"Potter! What is it?" Moody asked as he rushed to Harry's side.

"My back," he choked as he ripped off his shirt. The man beside him gasped as he watched bloody words appear on his skin.

"Those have been banned from the school!" He growled as he watched the writing continue.

_Harry Potter, Harry Potter, when will you see?_

_I own your body and mind, you belong to me._

_Harry Potter, Harry Potter, give up, be mine,_

_What fun can you have when we're not intertwined?_

_Harry Potter, Harry Potter, let go and give in,_

_This is one battle I know you will never win._

_Harry Potter, Harry Potter, think now, think fast_

_The Dark Bond I made was created to last._

_Harry Potter, Harry Potter, you must not tell lies_

_If I were you I'd start saying your goodbyes. _

It stopped there, ending ominously. Harry craned his neck to see what had his instructor so started when the man grabbed his head and forced him to look ahead. "What it it!?" He begged as Moody looked away.

"Nothing, Potter. Ready yourself," he grunted as he raised his wand. _Let the sparring continue, I guess, _Harry thought bitterly.

Severus sighed with relief as his last class of the day filed out quickly. His thoughts raced as he tried to figure out what Alex would want to engrave into Harry. An idea struck him. He took out the quill and his wand. Snape cast a spell at the feather and it started writing in the air. He read the poem quickly before waving his wand and making it disappear. Severus spelled the door closed and put his head on his desk, not wanting anyone to see him cry. Sobs shook his body as he thought about living on without Harry. _First Lilly, now this. Why can't I have untainted love? _He scoffed at his own question. Severus knew he was being irrational, but he was in too much pain to care. He wanted nothing more than to take the strong young man into his arms and cradle him; to let him feel the safety he needed and desired as a boy but never got. It was a bit late for Harry, and he could admit that, but at least The-Boy-Who-Lived would know what love felt like. _HARRY! _His thoughts screamed. _How could I have forgotten?! I hope he's alright. God dammit Severus, you idiot – he just had words seared into his flesh, of course he's not okay! _He shook his head in pure anger and sprinted to the Room of Requirement. When he arrived, he found it empty and ran to the headmaster's office. He threw open the door without knocking and found McGonagall and Dumbledore in the middle of a heated debate. "Where is Potter?" He hissed.

"I believe he is training with Alastor," Albus said softly.

"They aren't in the Room of Requirement," he stated flatly.

"Perhaps they retired early," Minerva chimed in. Severus crossed the room and threw the quill down on Albus's desk.

"Or maybe Potter is in danger," he said darkly, as he cast the same spell on the feather as he did before. He watched as the twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes was replaced by the glisten on fear. "I'll check my quarters, he might have gone there looking for me to treat the wound," Snape said as he left a dumbfounded Dumbledore and silent McGonagall in his wake. He walked to his chambers at a brisk pace. As he opened the door, he heard crying. Harry's room door was open. "Harry?" He asked as he leaned against the young man's doorframe.

"Sev?" He asked tearfully.

"Yes, it's me," he replied in a whisper as he walked over to the shuddering boy.

"How?" Harry inquired as he lifted up his shirt and showed Snape the eerie poem on his back.

"I don't know Harry," he said, defeated. "I just don't know." Severus climbed into bed next to him and pulled him into his arms. "Shh, you're safe here," he whispered as he stroked Harry's hair. The two fell asleep in each other's arms, too exhausted to care about much else other than the security they felt in that moment.


End file.
